In Lay Terms

Random Ramblings From a Church Nerd

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Almost Singing the Blues

I haven't written much in a while. I don't have a good reason for that right now. I just haven't felt like writing much. To be perfectly honest, I don't feel like doing much right now. I'm still unmotivated to accomplish anything.

I've been thinking about it, and I have a few self-observations:

1. I seem to be most motivated when I'm looking forward to something. I've spent the last spring and summer looking forward to something. Now that fall has started, I don't really have that much to look forward to. Sure, there my schedule has some major events coming up, but they are nothing that has me really motivated.

2. I'm coming off of a wonderful summer. I am still missing the schedule/freedom/opportunity I had this summer. Right now, I feel like I have less freedom at work (we have a new program that has me meeting with students almost every day of the week). I feel like I'm on my own with The Naming Project (motivation for everyone seems pretty low right now). I'm also feeling burned out from some of my other projects.

3. This lack of motivation, especially with TNP, is frustrating because things seem to be coming together right now. We just got a string of more publicity in some local and national outlets. People might be hearing the buzz. What if they come and find that we aren't doing all we/they want.

4. (this one could be - and might be - a post all its own) My other half and I have been discussing what to do when he finishes his degree. I have had ambitions to continue graduate school for a while. It is still quite a distance in the future, at least a couple of years. I don't like not knowing when it's going to happen - or if it's going to happen.

5. I always seem to get a little down in the fall, but usually that happens in November (after we change our clocks). This may be the same thing, only earlier, or it could be more the other factors above.

6. One source of stress, over-commitment, seems to be getting a little better. I've lost one responsibility, and another seems to be dropping away soon. I'm hoping that cutting down on the number of commitments I have will help some of the stress.

So, that's where I'm at right now. I'm still figuring out what this means, or what I should do. I hate feeling this way, and I want to emphasize the positive in my life (there is quite a bit). I guess I should just sing the blues.


Blogger mark said...

you feel down in the fall? that's weird, because, according to J, you have no emotions...

7:34 AM  
Blogger Chad K said...

Keep your dreams in front of you, and find something crazy fun to do to break out of that rut...always good to check in on your posts. Paz

11:42 AM  

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