Butt Freakin' Cold!

My dog keeps bugging me to go outside for a walk. I'm resisting, because it takes me 10 minutes to get ready to go outside. Everything has to be put on in a certain order - not because there is any ritual to it (at least, not yet), but because all these layers need to be put over one another.

First, the wool socks go over my regular, black socks. Next, the vinyl pants go over my regular pants. Then I put a hooded fleece over my clothes. Before I put the hood up, I put a tuque on my head. Then I put the hood up. Then the boots. Then the outer coat. Finally, the hat and gloves. Then I have to leash the dog up, make sure I have a poop bag, and we are on our merry way.

Then the wind hits me in the face. It is currently 16 degrees outside. I don't like the cold. Yet I endure it so my dog can get a little exercise and relief.

Because of the high costs of heating this winter, our furnace was set very low this year. I'm even cold in the house. Again, I endure because I believe in a larger picture of lower energy bills.

Some years ago, I wrote a lot of songs with a friend. We had a grand old time. Our musical collaboration is over, but the songs live on. Many of our songs are "liturgical" (as liturgical as two camp counselors could get). Every so often, I'll share a song with you. This song does not fall into the liturgical category. It's just entertaining. Right now, it seems appropriate to share our hit, "Butt, Freakin' Cold." This is an actual phrase uttered by a friend of mine. It has now become legend.

Butt freakin' cold!
I can't feel my toes.
Butt freakin' cold!
Snot is freezing in my nose.
It's butt freakin' cold.
I feel numb.

I went to be the other night.
And I woke up when I had a great fright.
My covers fell off and I could see,
That the Cold was really getting to me.
I was curled in a ball in the middle of the bed,
And if I couldn't find my blanket, I knew I'd be dead.

Because it's
Butt freakin' cold!
I can't feel my toes.
Butt freakin' cold!
Snot is freezing in my nose.
It's butt freakin' cold.
I feel numb.

I dove off the dock, and into the lake,
And as soon as I did, I started to shake.
I looked at the lifeguard, but all I could see
Was a big pair of mittens, clapping at me.

Because it's
Butt freakin' cold!
I can't feel my toes.
Butt freakin' cold!
Snot is freezing in my nose.
It's butt freakin' cold.
I feel numb.

The music was pretty good too, if I do say so myself. I think about that song, and the stories it inspired at this time of year. It's a time when I wish I lived in a much warmer climate.

May the warmth of your Advent Wreath sustain you until spring!