In Lay Terms

Random Ramblings From a Church Nerd

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Plumbing Issues

Warning...this post may be more than you would ever want to know about my life!

There are two major projects going on around my house this week. They both involve a way.

For one, we are getting a sump pump and drain tile system installed in our basement. We have lived in this house for 6 years. On four occasions is has rained hard enough to let water seep into the basement. Those occasions may be rare, but they sure drive us crazy when it happens. The first time it happened, we thought that we could install a track around the basement that would channel the water to the drain in the floor. After that point, we didn't get any water in the basement for about three years. Then, one fall it rained incredibly hard. The water started flooding into the basement. We learned that our basement floor was not level, and that the water would actually channel in the wrong direction and pool in the corner, where it would then top over the track. Not helpful! We spent that night with the shop vacuum continually running. We would wake up every couple of hours to drain it. Ugh

Earlier this spring, we finally decided that we had enough. The other half of the duplex was moving out, so it would make it easier to do this little project. Not two days had passed since we made this decision, when the basement flooded again. It was like God was affirming our decision. Either that or God wanted to get one last jibe in before we took care of this issue that we should have taken care of years ago.

The water people are coming in just a couple of days. They will need access to the whole back wall of the basement. What makes this more complicated is that we use the basement as our office space. We are pretty set up in the basement. In order to get them the access they need, we have to completely tear apart our basement. This is pretty much accomplished. In fact, I'm typing this on my Other Half's laptop on a TV tray. It's not the glamorous blogging lifestyle that you might have imagined.

OK - that's one plumbing issue. Here's the other one (WARNING: This is where it can get pretty gross).

We have been getting more and more into homeopathic medicine lately (my OH has been into this for quite a while, but I'm catching on slowly). During the month of May, we are taking on two toxin cleanses. Two weeks ago, I spent the week drinking copious amounts of apple juice and then topping the week off with epsom salts. Did you know that epsom salts are for something besides your feet? Well, apparently it is. It makes a pretty efficient laxative. I won't go into a lot more details, but there was a lot more in me than I ever imagined possible.

Fast forward to this week. This week is a modified fast. I'm taking nutrients, but I'm not eating any solid food. We are on a pretty strict regimen for this. Every couple of hours I take green pills (that's really what they are called!) and beet pills. I call that my "salad". Then, three times a day I drink a mixture with betonite and psyllium. It tastes like clay.

However, tonight was probably the most interesting part of the whole thing. Tonight was the first of three coffee enemas. Yup I took coffee and put it there.

Now, you might be asking a bunch of questions about this procedure. I sure did. These questions included:
  • Can we cool down the coffee before we put it in there?
  • What roast of coffee do we want? French? Sumatran?
  • Does the darkness of the roast determine the darkness of the waste?
  • Should we get shade-grown coffee, since we are going to put it where the sun don't shine?
  • Couldn't we just use a mocha? Where would you put the whipped cream?

Of course, your biggest questions probably is: Why do you do something like that?

First of all, let me say that my other half is VERY convincing. He also gave me some literature on what we are trying to do. Mostly, we are following the regimen outlined here. You can browse it yourself and see what you think.

We are on day three of the seven day plan. Here's hoping I make it!

Two plumbing issues are getting fixed at once!

p.s. You should be happy that I didn't use some of the images that I found when looking up "coffee enema".


Blogger Vic Mansfield said...

Oh my goodness! I read the website to which you linked. yuk.

It sounds gross, but there may be something to it. I am interested to hear your reflections on your health as a result of all this.


9:55 AM  

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